All I Ask of You

當 Christine 將 Raoul 帶上劇院屋頂，唱著《All I Ask of You》，音樂加上美景，的確賞心悅目。這段旋律優美，歌詞動人，是令人很容易喜歡上的一首歌。 也許是因為優美的音樂，或者是巧妙的劇情，抑或只是入骨三分得演技，讓人把這部 The Phantom of the Opera 回味了許久。

Christine 的感情，看似簡單自私了一點，但其實不無道理，Raoul 的身份、地位、容貌比 Phantom 的才華，更容易被普通人所接受。Christine 一定是猶豫徘徊過，但是她選擇留在真實的世界。也許，因為女孩子在年青的時候，並不一定了解自己追求的、需要的是甚麼，甚至別人的起哄也會促成一樁婚姻。等到她再長大一些、更成熟一些的時候，才會明白自己真正需要的是什麼。可那時，已經幹了許多悔恨得讓自己感到錐心的蠢事。巴不得付出任何代價，只求重新生活一遍才好，那就會變得比較聰明了。

Raoul 的心理，相比之下簡單的多，只是深愛著美麗的 Christine。沒有什麼才華，但卻不相信這個世上有才華的人存在，單純卻透著無知，他必須靠著毀滅高超的他者才能滿足，而他的破壞欲不可能被滿足，也不可能有所結束，因為那是他生活的所有意義，可悲的是，這種人卻往往能吸引還未成長，未能洞識淺薄的女孩子如 Christine 垂青。

Phantom 卻是個擁有不依常規的想法，異同尋常能力的天才，他氣質高貴，才華橫溢，卻容貌駭人，終日只能在面具的保護下渴望著愛情。他不像是普通愛情小說中的角色，不是才貌雙全，上帝給了他出眾的才華，卻不能施捨他僅僅能維持自尊的容貌，外表的醜陋遭受世人的排斥，他的心靈漸漸扭曲。

但是，他的本性是善良的，最後一刻，他放他唯一深愛的人走，這個人是唯一能解救他冰封靈魂的人。他選擇自己留在地獄，讓愛的人去幸福的天堂！設想如許 Christine 懂得欣賞 Phantom 的內在品質，故事的結果會很不一樣，因為這樣 Christine 與 Phantom 終有一天，他們自己才知道，決不能沒有了對方而再活著，對方比自己的生命更重要過百倍千倍。每一對互相愛戀的男女都會這樣想。可是只有真正深情之人，那些天生具有至性至情之人，這樣的兩個男女碰在一起，互相愛上了，他們才會真正的愛惜對方，遠勝於愛惜自己。那時若她再唱 All I ask of You，她將會得到 Phantom 貼心的回應。

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Who, there ...

似此星辰非昨夜，為誰風露立中宵。

摘自『黃仲則．綺懷』

Never has a person come to this secret garden of my heart.
Once I liked wandering there.
Once I lost myself there.
Once I thought nobody ever knew I was there.
Then I was attracted by colours and buzz outside.
Then I left there.
Then I forgot there.
One day you came and told me you knew the secret garden was where.
You told me it was OK to be back and stayed there.
You told me I'd never be alone, as you're living there.

有憾的情愛世間不知凡幾，
就是最後遇上了，
愛了、哭了，
明天又如何呢？
可能是更多的遺憾，
更多的淚水，更多裂心的痛。那麼，
是最後遇上好，還是不再遇上好呢？

The four words ...

By John Wesley:

One couple was blessed with a son after 11 years of marriage. Naturally, the son is the pearl to the loving couple's eyes.

The boy was two years old. One day, the husband was about to go to work when he saw on the table a bottle of medicine left open. As he was in a hurry, he told the wife loudly to replace the bottle with the cover. After which he closed the door and left.

The wife was very busy in the kitchen and forgot all about what the husband told her to do. The boy took the medicine bottle. As he was curious and attracted by the color, he drank all the medicine. The dosage was strong. And an adult should only take a small amount of it.

The boy was sent to the hospital but died of overdose. The wife was very frightened and did not know how to face the husband. The worried husband rushed to the hospital and was very sad to learn the bad news. After looking at the son's body, he looked at the wife and said four words.

What are these four words?

This story highlights choices of making a decision. Facing a mishap, you can indulge in blaming, scolding the whole world or even self-blaming. All these would not change what has happened. In fact, it would change your subsequent daily life: carrying on life with a scar.

On the other hand, when one let go resentment and fear, let go the past, carrying on life with courage, the situation one is facing is not as bad as one may imagine. This is what the author called Proactive Behavior. This is changing the conditions around us and not allowing it to influence us.

The reaction of the husband as talented in human relationship, is a proactive (able to control the situation and not controlled by the situation) one. He just uttered these four words to his beloved wife:

“I love you, darling!”

He fully understand the death of the son was a reality. Quarreling and scolding would not bring the son back, it would create more sorrows. Moreover, he was not the only one losing a son, his wife too.

This is a simple story, however how many of us could act like this? Just a few simple words! Nevertheless, it needs very good self-development, tolerance and a lot of wisdom to say such touching words under that kind of situation.

• Meeting a true love. Siege the opportunity for life companionship with her. As once she is gone, it would be too late.
• Meeting a trustworthy friend. Get along well with her, because in life, meeting a confidant is really not easy.
• Meeting a benefactor in life, be grateful. As he is the turning point of your life.
• Meeting someone whom you loved before. Remember to smile and be thankful, as she let you understand more about love.
• Meeting someone you hated. Greet him with a smile, because he allows you to grow stronger.
• Meeting someone you were secretly fond of. Do wish her well. Because when you liked her, didn't you want her to be well and happy.
• Meeting someone who betrayed you. Have a friendly chat with him, as without him, till today you would not understand the world.
• Meeting someone who left you in a hurry. Thank him for having come into your life, because he is part of your wonderful memories.
• Meeting someone whom you had misunderstanding with. Clarify the misunderstanding now, as this could be the only opportunity for clarification.

　　『猝然臨之而不驚，無故加之而不怒。』

蘇軾《留侯論》

故事當中那一句「I love you, darling!」，雖然只是很簡單的一句說話，但到底需要多久的修行，多大的包容，多深的人生智慧,，才能在那種時刻說出如此令人動容的一句話？每個人一生中都會遇到很多不幸事，但究竟應該選擇用什麼方式去面對？
　　

Clod and Pebble

The Clod and the Pebble

Love seeketh not Itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care;
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

So sang a little Clod of Clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet;
But a Pebble of the brook,
Warbled out these metres meet.

Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to Its delight:
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite.

William Blake

『愛，是不求自己的益處，不戀慕在施贈中得享優越，
是愛使人甘作他人的僕役，
在地獄似的絕境中，重建人間天國。』

In 1782, Blake met John Flaxman, who was to become his patron, and Catherine Boucher, who was to become his wife. At the time, Blake was recovering from a relationship that had culminated in a refusal of his marriage proposal. Telling Catherine and her parents the story, she expressed her sympathy, whereupon Blake asked her, "Do you pity me?" To Catherine's affirmative response he responded, "Then I love you." Blake married Catherine – who was five years his junior – on 18 August 1782 in St. Mary's Church, Battersea. Illiterate, Catherine signed her wedding contract with an 'X'. Later, in addition to teaching Catherine to read and write, Blake trained her as an engraver. Throughout his life she would prove an invaluable aid to him, helping to print his illuminated works and maintaining his spirits throughout numerous misfortunes.

“Shall I call him artist or genius – or mystic – or madman?”

(Lucas, 1998 p. 1)

　　

The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence - deathly silence.

The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away - no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

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