Honest workers or thieves? A bagel-seller: Mr. Paul Feldman who trusted customers to pay made surprising discoveries about dishonesty.
He’s a former defense analyst who decided to go into the bagel business. He got the idea after years of providing his co-workers with bagels - see he would go off in the morning, bring bagels and cream cheese into the office and then leave a cash basket for people to pay him back voluntarily. In 1984, his research institute fell under new management and Paul decided to leave. He then started a new business delivering bagels to offices and instituting the same honor system - this was a great business plan and he was delivering 8,400 bagels a week to 140 different offices. Being an economist and all he kept detailed statistics regarding payment rates and how those differed amongst different types of companies.
Despite all the attention paid to rogue companies such as Enron, academics know very little about the practicalities of white-collar crime. There are no good data. A key fact of white-collar crime is that we hear about only the very slim fraction of people who are caught cheating. Most embezzlers lead quiet and theoretically happy lives; employees who steal company property are rarely detected.
What did Feldman discover? That larger companies have lower payment rates than smaller companies, and that executives steal more than lower level employees. He also discovered that payment rates go down around holiday seasons and go up when the weather is nice. He also noted an increase in payment rates after 9/11.
Feldman has also reached his own conclusions about honesty, based more on his experience than the data. He believes morale is a big factor — that an office is more honest when employees like their boss and their work. He also believes that employees further up the corporate ladder cheat more than those below. He got this idea after delivering for years to one company spread out over three floors — an executive floor on top and two lower floors with sales, service, and administrative employees. (Feldman wondered if perhaps the executives cheated out of an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. What he didn’t consider is that perhaps cheating was how they came to be executives.)
One of the argument for the above phenomenon is that morality represents the way we would like the world to work while economics represents how it actually does work. If that’s true, then the story of Feldman’s bagel business lies at the very intersection of morality and economics. Yes, a lot of people steal from him, but the vast majority (in average around 87% of the people who took the bagel but paid for it), even though no one is watching them, do not.
This was presented in the Sunday Times and is an excerpt from Freaknomics, a book written by economist Steven D. Levitt and journalist Stephen J. Dubner.
This was a system learn from a Jesuit cloisterer when in High School. The system tries to explain human moral development and on how people judge their behaviors. This also describes the formation of a system of values on which to base decisions concerning "right" and "wrong, " or "good" and "bad." Those values are underlying assumptions about standards that govern moral decisions.
I would like to call this: Five Stages of Moral Development on Behavior Basis.
Stage 1: Obedience and punishment orientation (may be up to age 9)
In this stage, individuals focus on the direct consequences that their actions will have for themselves. For example, they think that an action is morally wrong if the person who commits it gets punished.
The worse the punishment for the act is, the more 'bad' the act is perceived to be. In addition, there is no recognition that others' points of view are any different from one's own view. This stage may be viewed as a kind of authoritarianism.
Stage 2: Interpersonal accord and Appreciation orientation (normally age 9+ to adolescence)
In this stage, individuals are receptive of approval or disapproval from other people. They try to be a good boy or good girl having learned that there is inherent value in doing so. In this stage, the reasoning may judge the morality of an action by evaluating its consequences in terms of a person's relationships.
Stage 3: Authority and social-order maintaining orientation ( could be adulthood)
People in this stage think it is important to obey the laws and social conventions because of its importance to maintaining a working society. Moral reasoning in this stage is thus beyond the need for approval exhibited in stage two, because the individual understands that society needs to transcend individual needs. A central ideal or ideals often prescribe what is right and wrong, such as in the case of fundamentalism. If one person violates a law, perhaps everyone would - thus there is an obligation and a duty to uphold laws and rules. When someone does violate a law, it is morally wrong; culpability is thus a significant factor in this stage as it separates the bad domains from the good ones.
Stage 4: Ethics and Social contract orientation
In this stage, persons have certain principles to which they may attach more value than laws, such as human rights or social justice. In this reasoning, actions are wrong if they violate these ethical principles. Laws are regarded as social contracts rather than dictums, and must be changed when necessary (provided there is agreement). By this reasoning, laws that do not promote general social welfare should be changed. Democratic governments are ostensibly based on this Stage reasoning.
Stage 5: Animal Nature and Principled conscience
It appears that people rarely if ever reach this stage. At this stage, their behaviors no longer depend on rules or ethics. Instead they judge their behaviors by themselves. They take up the responsibility of the result of their judgment. They follow rules and ethics most of the time but in the sense that they know clearly the reasons behind the rules and not following regulations or ethical standard blindly. Their standard of behavior is not the standard created by rules or ethics. The moral reasoning is based on the use of abstract reasoning using universal ethical principles. One way to do this is by imagining oneself in everyone else's shoes, imagining what they would decide if they were doing the same.
One thing is important, the above development although with some age suggestion, it doesn’t mean that the development is necessary related to age. Many people remain in the stage depending on their experiences, their mind set and sometimes education. I would say many college students in Hong Kong even hang about in stage one or two.
To what were noticed, most of the Chinese people remain in the third stage and are not able to go any further. Undeniably, this is an easy way of life. No need to think about what is right or wrong. Just following the rules from the law, the directive from Bible or moral standards set by ancestors. That leads to no matter how ridiculous the law seems to be, still many people will support it without any doubt. This kind of life also does not need to be responsible to most of the decisions made because the line of right or wrong was pre-determined. So they could act and judge people more easily and normally without compassion.
To illustrate one's moral development, there is an interesting experiment named: Heinz dilemma. This experiment was created by Lawrence Kohlberg who tried to explain the development of moral reasoning. A dilemma that Kohlberg used in his original research was the druggist's dilemma: Heinz Steals the Drug In Europe. Created while studying psychology at the University of Chicago, the theory was inspired by the work of Jean Piaget and a fascination with children's reactions to moral dilemmas.
These people were reality-centered, which means they could differentiate what is fake and dishonest from what is real and genuine. They were problem-centered, meaning they treated life's difficulties as problems demanding solutions, not as personal troubles to be railed at or surrendered to. And they had a different perception of means and ends. They felt that the ends don't necessarily justify the means, that the means could be ends themselves, and that the means - the journey - was often more important than the ends.
The self-actualizers also had a different way of relating to others. First, they enjoyed solitude, and were comfortable being alone. And they enjoyed deeper personal relations with a few close friends and family members, rather than more shallow relationships with many people. They enjoyed autonomy, a relative independence from physical and social needs. And they resisted enculturation, that is, they were not susceptible to social pressure to be "well adjusted" or to "fit in" - they were, in fact, nonconformists in the best sense.
They had an unhostile sense of humor -- preferring to joke at their own expense, or at the human condition, and never directing their humor at others. They had a quality he called acceptance of self and others, by which he meant that these people would be more likely to take you as you are than try to change you into what they thought you should be.
This same acceptance applied to their attitudes towards themselves: If some quality of theirs wasn't harmful, they let it be, even enjoying it as a personal quirk. On the other hand, they were often strongly motivated to change negative qualities in themselves that could be changed. Along with this comes spontaneity and simplicity: They preferred being themselves rather than being pretentious or artificial. In fact, for all their nonconformity, he found that they tended to be conventional on the surface, just where less self-actualizing nonconformists tend to be the most dramatic.
Further, they had a sense of humility and respect towards others - something Maslow also called democratic values - meaning that they were open to ethnic and individual variety, even treasuring it. They had a quality Maslow called human kinship or Gemeinschaftsgefühl - social interest, compassion, humanity. And this was accompanied by a strong ethics, which was spiritual but seldom conventionally religious in nature. And these people had a certain freshness of appreciation, an ability to see things, even ordinary things, with wonder. Along with this comes their ability to be creative, inventive, and original.
And, finally, these people tended to have more peak experiences than the average person. A peak experience is one that takes you out of yourself, that makes you feel very tiny, or very large, to some extent one with life or nature or God. It gives you a feeling of being a part of the infinite and the eternal. These experiences tend to leave their mark on a person, change them for the better, and many people actively seek them out. They are also called mystical experiences, and are an important part of many religious and philosophical traditions.
Maslow doesn't think that self-actualizers are perfect, of course. There were several flaws or imperfections he discovered along the way as well: First, they often suffered considerable anxiety and guilt - but realistic anxiety and guilt, rather than misplaced or neurotic versions. Some of them were absentminded and overly kind. And finally, some of them had unexpected moments of ruthlessness, surgical coldness, and loss of humor.
Two other points he makes about these self-actualizers: Their values were "natural" and seemed to flow effortlessly from their personalities. And they appeared to transcend many of the dichotomies others accept as being undeniable, such as the differences between the spiritual and the physical, the selfish and the unselfish, and the masculine and the feminine.
Metaneeds and metapathologies
Another way in which Maslow approach the problem of what is self-actualization is to talk about the special, driving needs (B-needs, of course) of the self-actualizers. They need the following in their lives in order to be happy:
Truth, rather than dishonesty.
Goodness, rather than evil.
Beauty, not ugliness or vulgarity.
Unity, wholeness, and transcendence of opposites, not arbitrariness or forced choices.
Aliveness, not deadness or the mechanization of life.
Uniqueness, not bland uniformity.
Perfection and necessity, not sloppiness, inconsistency, or accident.
Completion, rather than incompleteness.
Justice and order, not injustice and lawlessness.
Simplicity, not unnecessary complexity.
Richness, not environmental impoverishment.
Effortlessness, not strain.
Playfulness, not grim, humorless, drudgery.
Self-sufficiency, not dependency.
Meaningfulness, rather than senselessness.
At first glance, you might think that everyone obviously needs these. But think: If you are living through an economic depression or a war, or are living in a ghetto or in rural poverty, do you worry about these issues, or do you worry about getting enough to eat and a roof over your head? In fact, Maslow believes that much of the what is wrong with the world comes down to the fact that very few people really are interested in these values -- not because they are bad people, but because they haven’t even had their basic needs taken care of!
When a self-actualizer doesn't get these needs fulfilled, they respond with metapathologies -- a list of problems as long as the list of metaneeds! Let me summarize it by saying that, when forced to live without these values, the self-actualizer develops depression, despair, disgust, alienation, and a degree of cynicism.
Maslow began by picking out a group of people, some historical figures, some people he knew, whom he felt clearly met the standard of self-actualization. Included in this august group were Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Adams, William James, Albert Schweitzer, Benedict Spinoza, and Alduous Huxley, plus 12 unnamed people who were alive at the time Maslow did his research. He then looked at their biographies, writings, the acts and words of those he knew personally, and so on. From these sources, he developed a list of qualities that seemed characteristic of these people, as opposed to the great mass of us.
In 1887, Michelson and Morley tried to measure the aether wind with a Michelson interferometer mounted on a granite block floating in a pool of mercury. And it was a failure.
Ciemna nocka nad górami, Świeci księżyc nad szczytami, Drży powietrze nad smrekami, Góral poznał Halkę swą...
Lekko wsparłszy się na sośnie W oczy patrzał jej miłośnie Popłynęły w świat donośnie tęskne słowa pieśni tej:
Góralko, Halko, krasny, leśny mój kwiecie Tobie jednej na świecie Powiem co to jest żal! Choć serce kocha jakaś Dziwna tęsknota Moje serce omota – szczęście prysło gdzieś w dal. Przeszło lato hen, za wody. Inną poznał góral młody, W księżycową noc pogody Góral żegnał Halkę swą:
As for the best leaders, people do not notice their existence. For the next best, people honor and praise. For the next, people fear, and for the next, people hate. When the best leader's work is done, people say, "We did it ourselves."
In view of the recent turbulence in the stock markets all over the world, this says something important about human emotions and drives, and a weakness that can cause people to careen blindly into huge catastrophes. Is it because we all are schemers? Are we calculating too much and when things happen not according to plan, everyone loses their minds? Maybe the Joker in movie "The Dark Knight" describe the situation quite well:
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth.
It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and uh, look where that got you. I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that like a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all, part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!
Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair.
The Joker
You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time.
But you were wrong.
The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.
但長遠來說,這個 mark to market 以市值計算的會計要求,個人認為仍是好處多於壞處,一樣商品的價值其實都是 Perceived Value 多於 Intrinsic Value。 就算是千兩黃金,在災荒連綿時,也許不及一碗飯來得更有價值,這個會計守則,能即時反映市場對商品的即時市值,如果這段時間沒有買家,就把該商品設定為零價值其實也不為過,問題是因為這個守則,而引起的 transient 是否帶來害多於利?因為長遠來說,當災厄過去,商品的 Intrinsic Value 又會再被重新確認。
但經此一役,投資者或者金融機構從業員會否變得更謹慎,明白到一旦 Perceived Value 崩解,可能在一夜間,把百年基業給毁掉。
補白:
美國政府,在整個救市方案經修訂後,加入了不少新條款,不過有一點在傳媒算是較少報道,就是 SEC 放寬「Mark to Market」規定,、即係金融機構可以自行決定,唔需要再以市價入帳。哇,呢招如果過得,咁肯定是終極救市方案,保爾森再用唔用公帑買銀行爛帳,已經變得無關重要。
W starych dniach, mówimy o jak będzie nasze życie jest kiedy odchodzimy. Przy czasie, my obydwa krzyczał z nie kontrolowany łzy To było rzeczywiście twardy dla my obmyślać o odjeździe siebie Ale po odchodził, otrzymujemy uświadamiać sobie ból jest nawet więcej niż my kiedyś przewidywaliśmy.
In the old days, we talked about how will our life be when departed At that time, we both cried with uncontrollable tears It was really hard for us to think about leaving each other But after departed, we get to realize the agony is even more than we ever anticipated.
It tells of a pretty young girl who was standing at a door one day. The young man next door saw her; he had never spoken to her before. He approaches, and he just said to her, "Oh, you are here too?" She said nothing, and he had nothing more to say. They stood still for a while, and then they went their ways.
And that was it.
Later the pretty young girl was sold as a bride faraway from her home village. She was later resold several times. She suffered through the years. When she was old, she often recalls that moment, at the door, under the tree, with the young man.
Among the thousands of people that crossed in our lives, across the wilderness of time, we meet someone. Not earlier, not later, but just in time. And when you meet this someone, there is nothing that needs to be said. Only this, softly "Oh, you are here too?"
W języku chińskim, moje nazwisko brzmi “Lin”, co oznacza las. Dawno temu, mój przodek nie miał na nazwisko “Lin”. On był wujem Cesarza. Jego żona była brzemienna. On był człowiekiem prawym. Przy co czas, Imperator był nie twardy praca i okrutny do ludzi. Imperator tylko z jego żonami i bawił się cały dzień.
Mój przodek nie był szczęśliwy, widząc, że ludziom źle się wiedzie. Poprosił Cesarza aby postępował właściwie. To zirytowało jedną z żon Cesarza . Ona powiedziała, że nie jest pewna, czy serce dobrego człowieka miał 7 dziury. Ona poprosiła Cesarza, aby wyjął serce z ciała mojego przodka i sprawdził, czy to było rzeczywiście z 2 razy większa ilość otworów niż normalnie. Jednej nocny , Imperator rozkazał zabić mojego przodka i wyjąć jego serce, żeby to sprawdzić.
Kiedy rodzina mojego przodka usłyszała, co przydarzyło się mojemu przodkowi, natychmiast uciekła z domu. Biegli dzień i noc aż dotarli do lasu. Ukrywali się w lesie przez długie lata. Syn mojego przodka urodził się w lesie. Po wielu latach, zły Imperator został obalony przez innego, szlachetnego. Nowy Imperator był dobrym władcą. On usłyszał o dobrym imieniu mojego przodka. Więc on spróbował znaleźć rodzinę mojego przodka, aby przywrócić im ich wcześniejsze bogactwo i pozycję. Wreszcie, ludzie nowego Imperatora znaleźli ich mieszkających w lesie. Po zaproszeniu ich na dwór cesarski, nowy Imperator nadał rodzinie nowe nazwisko “Lin” , na pamiątkę miejsca, z którego się wywodzą, czyli lasu.
Wdzięczności za pomoc mojego małego nauczyciela pisać ten
"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Harvey Dent
Bruce: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do? Alfred: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice. Bruce: Well today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you get to say "I told you so." Alfred: Today, I don't want to. [pauses for several moments] But I did bloody tell you.
Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a dark knight.
Góralu, czy ci nie żal (Highlander, don't be sad ...)
Góralu, czy ci nie żal (Highlander, do you have no regret?) Odchodzić od stron ojczystych, (To leave your native land) Świerkowych lasów i hal (From the green forests and meadows) I tych potoków srebrzystych? (And these silvery streams)
Góralu, czy ci nie żal, (Highlander, do you have no regret?) Góralu, wracaj do hal! (Highlander, return to the meadows)
A góral na góry spoziera (And the highlander gazes at the mountains) I łzy rękawem ociera, (And wipes away tears with his sleeve) Bo góry porzucić trzeba, (Because he must leave the mountains) Dla chleba, panie dla chleba. (for bread, lady, for bread)
Góralu, czy ci nie żal ... (Highlander, do you have no regret …) Góralu, wróć się do hal, (Highlander, return to the meadows)
Góralu, wróć się do hal, (Highlander, return to the meadows) W chatach zostali ojcowie; (Father stays in the hut) Gdy pójdziesz od nich hen w dal (As you leave them behind) Cóż z nimi będzie, a kto powie? (who will be with them?)
I poszedł z grabkami, z kosą, (and go with the horntree and blackbird) I poszedł z gór swoich w dal, (and go from the mountain to far far away) W guńce starganej szedł boso. (only on barefoot) I poszedł z gór swoich w dal (and go from the mountain to far far away) Góralu, żal mi cię, żal! (Highlander, miss me, miss me)
Góralu, czy ci nie żal ... (Highlander, do you have no regret …) Góralu, wróć się do hal, (Highlander, return to the meadows)
A góral jak dziecko płacze: (But Highlander weeps as a child) Może już ich nie zobaczę; (No one could see him cries) I starych porzucić trzeba, (It is necessary to leave from the past) Dla chleba, panie, dla chleba (for bread, lady, for bread)
Góralu, czy ci nie żal ... (Highlander, do you have no regret …) Góralu, wróć się do hal, (Highlander, return to the meadows)
Góralu, czy ci nie żal ... (Highlander, do you have no regret …) Góralu, wróć się do hal, (Highlander, return to the meadows)
別誤會了是那個電腦遊戲,這其實一首由 Neil Sedaka 所創作,而極受歡迎的當代流行曲,Sedaka 是地道的美國人,但自 1960 年代中期開始隨著以 Beatles、Rolling Stone 等為代表的英國搖滾流行樂隊的大舉入侵 (史上稱之為 "British Invasion") ,包括 Neil Sedaka 在內的許許多多的美國本土歌星的事業都一落千丈。Sedaka 的歌曲不再像往昔一樣叱吒排行榜,他說他自己有 10 年的時間沒有發行過任何唱片,徹底從樂壇銷聲匿跡,他還說在最失落的日子裡有一次他走在街上,有人甚至這麼問他, "Are you used to be Neil Sedaka?" ^____^
直到 1972 年,他帶著這首著名的歌曲 Solitaire 重返樂壇,Elvis Presley (貓王),Carpenters (木匠樂隊),Frank Sinatra (法蘭·仙納杜拉) 等等都唱過這首歌,2003 年『美國偶像』大賽的亞軍 Clay Aiken (他也是該賽事迄今為止,推出的最成功男歌星) 在晉級賽中也演唱了此曲,當時的特邀嘉賓裁判正是 Neil Sedaka!但此後 Sedaka 的工作主要還是轉為幕後創作 (他是一個優秀的鋼琴手,1965 年曾準備代表美國去蘇聯,參加柴可夫斯基鋼琴比賽,但後來被主辦方,以他是流行歌星為由,取消了參賽資格)。他為 1970 年代的美國流行組合 The Captain and Tennille 創作了,他們一炮而紅的排行榜冠軍歌曲 "Love Will Keep Us Together" (他們另一首冠軍歌曲 "Do that to me one more time" 更為香港聽眾所熟悉),還為許多大牌歌星寫過歌,他為英國老牌歌星 Tony Christie 寫的 "Is This The Way to Amarillo" 在時隔 34 年之後的 2005 年再度發行時居然拿下了全年唱片銷量總冠軍,為此 2006 年 4 月 7 日在英國皇家阿爾伯特音樂廳,舉辦的一場音樂會當中,Neil Sedaka 本人還以這首歌作者的身份,被基尼斯紀錄組織特別授予一項 "21 世紀最佳唱片銷量大獎"。
而這首歌如此受歡迎,皆因它唱出了真男人的心聲。
Solitaire (Lyric & music by Neil Sedaka)
There was a man, a lonely man Who lost his love, thru his indifference A heart that cared that went unshared Until it died within his silence
And solitaire is the only game in town And every road that takes him, takes him down While life goes on around him everywhere He's playing solitaire
And keeping to himself, begins to deal And still the king of hearts is well concealed Another losing games comes to an end And deals them out again
A little hope goes up in smoke Just how it goes, goes without saying There was a man, a lonely man Who would command the hand he's playing
And solitaire is the only game in town And every road that takes him, takes him down While life goes on around him everywhere He's playing solitaire
And keeping to himself, begins to deal And still the king of hearts is well concealed Another losing games comes to an end And deals them out again
And solitaire is the only game in town And every road that takes him, takes him down While life goes on around him everywhere He's playing solitaire
The Sternberg Triangle was created by Yale professor Robert Sternberg in his 1988 book with Michael Barnes called The Psychology of Love. The triangle holds that three things interact to promote or negate love: intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment.
Intimacy - involves the nature of human interaction and is not confined to sexual contact. In Sternberg's view intimacy includes such attributes as: dependency (on each other), mutual understanding and mutual happiness.
Passion - is the sexual/physical component of love. Even though passion is related to intimacy, they are not interchangeable terms. Sternberg feels that intimacy (as defined above) stimulates passion.
Commitment - is made up of two phases: short term and long term. Short term is simply the decision to love someone. Long term is the decision to invest in that love emotional (and often financial) resources.
By combining these 3 components, Sternberg came up with 8 types of loving. These types are listed in the table below, along with a checklist of the 3 components that make up each type.
Combinations of Intimacy, Passion, Commitment ======================= Intimacy Passion Commitment Non Love Low Low Low Liking/Friendship High Low Low Infatuated Love Low High Low Empty Love Low Low High Romantic Love High High Low Companionate Love High Low High Fatuous Love Low High High Consummate Love High High High
Non love refers to the absence of all three components.
Liking occurs when we just have intimacy, such as in friendships.
Infatuation occurs when we only have passion, such as in love at first sight. This type appears quickly and disappears almost as fast.
Empty love occurs when we only have commitment, and is often the residual love that remains once the other types have faded.
Romantic love, on the other hand, is the combination of intimacy and passion. In this way, it involves both liking and physical desire for the other person.
Companionate love is a combination of commitment and intimacy, and often occurs in the later stages of a relationship after the passion has faded.
Fatuous love is a combination of passion and commitment, therefore lacking intimacy.
Finally, Consummate love is a combination of all three components. This is our society's ideal type of love, because it involves close friendship, physical urges, and a strong commitment.
Sternberg's theory also states that love is made up of more than just a single triangle, and outlines several different types of triangles. Some of his ideas include the real vs. ideal triangles, the self vs. other triangles, the self-perceived vs. other-perceived triangles, and the thought vs. action triangles. Sternberg believes that these triangles are not independent, but that they interact with one another. These interactions between the components and the triangles account for the complexity that exists within loving relationships.
Although the movie "There's Something about Mary" is a comedy, it is also about a kind of love that an awkward and shy boy (Ted) could have for a girl (Mary) throughout the years. After 13 years departure, Ted is still in love - maybe even obsessed - with Mary. Ted hires a Private Investigator Healy to help him to find Mary. Unfortunately, Healy betrays Ted and tries to make Mary become his own girl friend. Knowing something is going wrong, Ted drives down to Florida and seems to have won Mary's love when an anonymous letter exposes his being less than honest about his link to Healy. In one scene, Mary accuses Ted of stalking her and not letting her knows. Mary is hurt and she sends Ted away immediately. To Ted, true love is not nice. Before he goes, Ted turns his back to Mary and says the following touching statement:
No I didn't want to trick you.
Mary, I did it because, I never stop thinking about you.
And if I didn't find you, I knew my life would never ever be good again.
His friends say stop whining,
they've had enough of that.
His friends would say stop pining,
there's others girls to look at.
They've tried to set him up with Tiffany and Indigo,
but there's something about Mary that they don't know.
Mary, there's just something about Mary.
Well, his friends say, look life's no fairy tale,
that he should have some fun,
he's suffered long enough.
Well, they may know about domestic and imported ale,
but they don't know a thing about love.
Well, his friends would say he's dreaming
and living in the past,
but they've never fallen in love,
so his friends need not be asked.
His friends would say be reasonable,
his friends would say just let go,
but there's something about Mary that they don't know.