The four words ...

By John Wesley:

One couple was blessed with a son after 11 years of marriage. Naturally, the son is the pearl to the loving couple's eyes.

The boy was two years old. One day, the husband was about to go to work when he saw on the table a bottle of medicine left open. As he was in a hurry, he told the wife loudly to replace the bottle with the cover. After which he closed the door and left.

The wife was very busy in the kitchen and forgot all about what the husband told her to do. The boy took the medicine bottle. As he was curious and attracted by the color, he drank all the medicine. The dosage was strong. And an adult should only take a small amount of it.

The boy was sent to the hospital but died of overdose. The wife was very frightened and did not know how to face the husband. The worried husband rushed to the hospital and was very sad to learn the bad news. After looking at the son's body, he looked at the wife and said four words.

What are these four words?

This story highlights choices of making a decision. Facing a mishap, you can indulge in blaming, scolding the whole world or even self-blaming. All these would not change what has happened. In fact, it would change your subsequent daily life: carrying on life with a scar.

On the other hand, when one let go resentment and fear, let go the past, carrying on life with courage, the situation one is facing is not as bad as one may imagine. This is what the author called Proactive Behavior. This is changing the conditions around us and not allowing it to influence us.

The reaction of the husband as talented in human relationship, is a proactive (able to control the situation and not controlled by the situation) one. He just uttered these four words to his beloved wife:

“I love you, darling!”

He fully understand the death of the son was a reality. Quarreling and scolding would not bring the son back, it would create more sorrows. Moreover, he was not the only one losing a son, his wife too.

This is a simple story, however how many of us could act like this? Just a few simple words! Nevertheless, it needs very good self-development, tolerance and a lot of wisdom to say such touching words under that kind of situation.

• Meeting a true love. Siege the opportunity for life companionship with her. As once she is gone, it would be too late.
• Meeting a trustworthy friend. Get along well with her, because in life, meeting a confidant is really not easy.
• Meeting a benefactor in life, be grateful. As he is the turning point of your life.
• Meeting someone whom you loved before. Remember to smile and be thankful, as she let you understand more about love.
• Meeting someone you hated. Greet him with a smile, because he allows you to grow stronger.
• Meeting someone you were secretly fond of. Do wish her well. Because when you liked her, didn't you want her to be well and happy.
• Meeting someone who betrayed you. Have a friendly chat with him, as without him, till today you would not understand the world.
• Meeting someone who left you in a hurry. Thank him for having come into your life, because he is part of your wonderful memories.
• Meeting someone whom you had misunderstanding with. Clarify the misunderstanding now, as this could be the only opportunity for clarification.

　　『猝然臨之而不驚，無故加之而不怒。』

蘇軾《留侯論》

故事當中那一句「I love you, darling!」，雖然只是很簡單的一句說話，但到底需要多久的修行，多大的包容，多深的人生智慧,，才能在那種時刻說出如此令人動容的一句話？每個人一生中都會遇到很多不幸事，但究竟應該選擇用什麼方式去面對？